


my cup overfloweth (mostly with ectoplasm, but there's some joy in there too)

by pawn_vs_player



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: (THEY'RE GHOSTS WHAT DO YOU EXPECT), (related to possession not sex), Ableism, Angst and Feels, Backstory, Child Abuse, Codependency, Consent Issues, Crossdressing, Discussion of Death, Epic Friendship, Gen, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Murder, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kevin-centric, Mental Health Issues, Mistreatment of Children, Origin Story, Possession, Symbiotic Relationship, i swear if i write a follow-up it will focus on the lesbians, kevin is a sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 20:11:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7905994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pawn_vs_player/pseuds/pawn_vs_player
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>rowan tears at you, rips you apart and doesn’t try to put you back together, and you try to fight, you all try, but you can’t and for the first time, all you can do is scream.</p><p> </p><p>(rowan is not kevin’s first possession, but he’s definitely the worst.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	my cup overfloweth (mostly with ectoplasm, but there's some joy in there too)

**Author's Note:**

> I tried so hard not to write for this fandom... I have fallen.  
> I'm thinking of writing a follow-up, maybe, about Kevin and the ghosts matchmaking Erin/Holtz... would anyone like to see that? It'd be far fluffier than this is...

you can’t remember a time you were alone in your head.

mama says you used to be, though. says you used to be just kevin, used to just be one little boy who didn’t talk to the other people inside him because he didn’t understand why that was weird, didn’t understand that it was a one-sided conversation to everyone outside his head, didn’t understand that weird was bad and most people don’t have others inside them.

you don’t remember. it doesn’t bother you, though; if you have no experience of something, how can you miss it?

-

mama tells you that you stopped being alone when you were seven. she tells you that you had a life before then, that you were a happy, kind boy who liked playing with his friends, who had friends outside his own head, who drew normal things and did well in school.

mama tells you that you moved to America, to a little town in southern Colorado, when you were six. _(don’t you remember?)_ that you don’t have a daddy. _(don’t you remember?)_ that the people in your head _aren’t real, kevin, honey, please!_

your first memory is looking up at the ceiling above your bed and seeing a man made of blue light drifting down through it, and then he touched you, and then the world shook apart and resettled into something different, and the man was part of you.

his name is Nathan. he has an accent you’ll learn later is Irish, and he tells you stories about growing up in the Depression and taking care of his sisters and raising his daughter after his wife left him for another man. you tell him your name is Kevin, and you tell him about mama and what year it is and how old you are. you tell him the world is shades of blue when you narrow your eyes, and it hadn’t been before, and you tell him that you never had a father because he was bad and mama ran away from him before you were born.

Nathan tells you you’re a good kid, and he asks if he can stay for a while.

you tell him yes.

-

you tell the kids at school about Nathan, Zack and his twin Zoe and your other friends Claire and Frank and Lee, but they don’t believe you. Zoe says Nathan’s just an imaginary friend and Lee tells you that you were dreaming.

when you tell them that Nathan is real and you can still hear him, still feel him in you, they get scared and they run away.

you sit down by yourself, except you aren’t, because Nathan’s there.

you ask him how long he’ll stay.

 _as long as you let me,_ he tells you, and you smile.

-

someone tells the teacher a little before the end of fourth grade. you- or maybe Nathan- is a little surprised this hasn’t happened already.

 _kevin,_ they say. _are you feeling alright,_ they say. _imaginary friends are not real,_ they say. _nathan isn’t really there, honey,_ they say.

Nathan tells you to pretend to believe them. you don’t understand why, but you do.

you nod. _okay,_ you say. _I'm sorry,_ you say. _he felt so real,_ you say.

 _you have a great imagination,_ they tell you, and, _but don’t let it get in the way of reality._

you aren’t very good at imagining things, really. Nathan’s much better at that than you are.

-

Nathan tells you that most people don’t have other people in their heads, and that others will think you’re sick and try to take him away. he tells you not to let anyone else know he’s there, or they’ll take him away.

you agree. you don’t want to lose Nathan.

-

mama worries about your grades; the best you ever get is a B, and that’s rare.

you don’t tell her it’s because Nathan is loud, even when he’s trying not to be. he’s grown into part of you by now, and it’s hard to separate out where he ends and you begin; and when you’re trying to remember how to divide fractions, he’s missing his family and wondering what the Beyond is like.

you’re passing, though. you’re okay, you promise her. you’ll be fine.

-

when you are ten years old, you go exploring in the construction site after all the people are gone. Nathan says it’s dangerous, but you ignore him; you want to do this, and you’re sure you’ll be fine.

there’s another blue man there, sitting on a hunk of concrete. he has his head in his hands like he’s crying or he has a headache, and he has on a glowy orange vest like the construction men wear. Nathan says they’re so you stand out and don’t get hurt by accident.

“hello?” you call. the man looks at you. he seems surprised.

 _you see me?_ he asks you, and you frown.

“‘course I do,” you say. “why wouldn’t I?”

 _no one else does,_ the man says sadly.

“that’s awful,” you say, and walk over to sit next to him. “do you want me to talk to you, since I can see you?”

he looks at you silently. his mouth is open, but he isn’t making words.

Nathan asks to speak. you say sure.

 _“Hello,”_ he says with your mouth. the other blue man’s eyes get really wide.

_what?_

_“My name is Nathan. I am a ghost,”_ Nathan says. you don’t like that word very much, because everyone at school says ghosts are mean and scary, but Nathan calls himself that a lot, so you suppose it’s alright if Nathan says it. _“Like you. This young man, Kevin, has allowed me to possess him for the last three years.”_

 _oh,_ the other ghost says. _I didn’t know you could do that._

 _“I didn’t either, until Kevin let me,”_ Nathan says, and he sounds… proud? happy? either way, it makes you smile. _“What is your name?”_

_arthur._

_“Well, Arthur,”_ Nathan says, _“Kevin is the best kid you’ll ever meet. Would you like us to stay for a while?”_

_please._

Nathan gives you back your mouth. you smile widely. “hi, Arthur!” you say, and stick your hand out before remembering that you aren’t supposed to touch ghosts. “I'm Kevin, but Nathan already said that. is there anything I can do for you?”

Arthur looks at you for a minute. _I don’t want to be stuck here anymore. I'm so lonely here. I want to be with people._

you think.

“wanna be with me and Nathan?” you offer. if you can _host_ (ha! vocabulary word from last week!) Nathan, maybe you can host Arthur too? “if we can, anyway.”

Arthur’s nodding. _yes, please._

“Nathan?” you ask, just to be sure.

 _let us try,_ Nathan says, and you grin.

you take Arthur’s hand, and the world shatters, and it comes back washed in blue and orange, and there is another person in you.

 _whoa,_ Arthur says. you giggle.

-

your grades get worse. mama frowns at you over the kitchen table.

-

you meet Lucy at the playground when you’re thirteen. she tells you she fell off the monkey bars at just the wrong angle. her head swings on her neck and she has to hold it in place to look at you, but you aren’t scared. the back of Arthur’s head is missing. Nathan has a bunch of holes in his chest. you haven’t been scared of dead people in a very long time.

Lucy is two years older than you, but you’re taller than she is. mama calls you a beanpole; Lucy calls you lucky.

you ask her if she wants to come with you, and you hold out your hand.

it doesn’t take very long for her to take it.

-

it’s weird, hosting Lucy, because you’re a _boy_ but you get jealous of mama’s dresses and pretty sparkling necklaces and the way she does her hair. Arthur and Nathan are the most uncomfortable, but even though Lucy is years younger than both of them, she doesn’t take any _guff_ (mama’s dad says that all the time in his phone calls; you think you’re using it right). she says it’s fine that you don’t want to wear any of those things, but you feel her longing like a slap to the face, so when mama is out and the house is otherwise empty, you twirl in front of the mirror in lipstick and skirts and sparkly jewelry and listen to Lucy laugh in joy.

Nathan and Arthur don’t grumble about it much after they realize how comfortable dresses actually are.

-

you’re getting D’s in most of your classes. mama is worried all the time. the school calls her in for meeting after meeting; you sit in at some of them, but you can’t focus on what they say when Lucy is joking with Arthur about Disney movie cliches and Nathan is asking them why movies about animated fish exist at all.

mama says they want to test you. you tell her you aren’t good at tests.

“I know, baby,” she says. her eyes are wet and sparkly. “But it’s important that you take this one.”

-

you find out later, from Lucy, that it’s an IQ test.

you get a C, or you think you do, because Lucy said 70-80 means a C, until mama gets the results and cries over them.

the kids at school call you a retard.

-

when you’re seventeen, you go to a boarding school and take ‘special’ classes. three months after you move in, you find two translucent blue kids sitting on your windowsill. you live on the fifth floor, since that’s where the dormitories are. they’re surprised when you ask them what their names are; one almost falls off, but her companion grabs her arm and pulls her back.

 _vanessa,_ she says. she looks a little younger than you. _‘m vanessa._

 _’m grant,_ the boy says. he’s younger even than Lucy, thirteen or fourteen maybe. _why aren’t y’scared?_

you tell them about Nathan and Arthur and Lucy. they don’t look like they believe you, so you let Nathan and Arthur and Lucy talk to them.

when they give you your body back, Vanessa tells you your eyes were blue lights and your voice changed. you shrug.

“I leave in a couple months, when I turn eighteen,” you tell them. “wanna come with us?”

Vanessa grabs your hand unhesitatingly. her thoughts are sluggish and her memories horrific, but Lucy takes her into a hug and Nathan rubs her back. the world blurs and spins and settles, and you look at Grant.

he’s shaking a little. _y’won’t hurt us?_

“course not!” you say, a little offended.

he hugs you, and the world trembles, and then he is you.

-

you’re a lot more scared of doctors after that. and needles. and being tied up. and small dark spaces. and belts. you don’t like heights much either, but that’s more because of how much Grant and Vanessa remember those last few moments of standing on the rooftop of what would eventually become a school, hand-in-hand, wind whipping around them and trees swishing down below.

so. you aren't big on heights.

-

you get a plane ticket to New York City when you’re released. you can’t stay in Colorado; there are ghosts _everywhere,_ and most of them aren’t friendly, especially when they realize you can see them whether they want you to or not. New York has a lot of ghosts too, but they don’t bother you as much.

mama sends you money every month, and the school contacts a local doctor to keep an eye on you, but otherwise it’s just you and your ghosts.

Nathan and Lucy take turns singing you all to sleep. Arthur’s the best at cooking. Vanessa’s really good at directions; it’s only because of her that you can get home every day, because despite the numbered streets, New York can be a maze sometimes. Grant is really good at math, but his talking isn’t so good, and he’s scared of everyone. Nathan’s a smooth talker, but he doesn’t sound like you, and he’s much older than the rest of you. Lucy helps you with shopping and social things; you don’t know how to react to people, a lot of the time, but she had a lot of friends and she knows how to navigate most of society.

you mess up a lot, though, and everyone you meet calls you stupid or slow or retarded. they say you’re lucky you’re pretty, you’re lucky you’re tall, you’re lucky you have people who care about you.

sometimes, the ghosts offer to leave you. they say you’ll be better off without them.

you say no every time. you cannot imagine being alone, and they definitely won’t be better off without you.

-

sometimes, it feels like the only thing keeping you all sane is each other.

-

it’s when you’re out trying to find a nice summer dress- Lucy and Vanessa miss feeling like themselves, and the rest of you miss having a breeze on your legs- when you see the clip on TV of the scientist saying the ‘ghostbusters’ are fakes. they show the video of the ghostbusting itself several times.

it’s real. it’s real.

_it’s real._

you’ve always been sure your ghosts are real, but now- now, there are people that might _believe you,_ because they’ve seen ghosts themselves.

you see the ‘help wanted’ poster on your way home.

they need a secretary. you can do that, you think. it can’t be so hard.

-

Abby frowns at you. Erin _ogles_ you, according to Nathan who knows these things. Holtzmann ignores you, mostly. Patty doesn’t seem to care either way.

you need this job. you _need_ it. other than the money, you have to know that you’re around people who don’t think you’re crazy because you’re sharing your body with five dead others.

Erin lets you stay. you don’t even mind the staring, because it means you’re here.

-

Abby’s disappointed in you, but it’s okay. she doesn’t make you leave. you’ll get better.

-

they won’t let you go with them, but you’re sure you can make a difference. if the last twenty years have taught you anything, it’s that you’re good at handling ghosts.

Abby and Patty and Holtz are yelling at you from the window, and there’s a great gust of shimmery air, and then there’s a cold, oily presence on you, surrounding you, and then it’s _in you_ -

and for the first few, precious seconds, all you can think is _it didn’t ask_ and _I didn’t say yes._ the others understood consent, and this one- _rowan,_ his mind hisses- doesn’t care about it at all.

Nathan cries out as Rowan tears at him. Lucy and Vanessa try to shield Grant as Arthur charges, and you stand to the side, frozen stiff in shock.

it doesn’t take as long as it feels for Rowan to rip and beat you all into submission and take your body. he weaves a metaphysical cage around you all and bundles you into the back of your mind, and then you can’t tell what he’s doing anymore.

you curl into Nathan’s not torn-up side and cry. Lucy strokes your hair. Arthur holds Vanessa and Grant and promises you all that the ghostbusters will free you. that they’re strong, and they care about you all. that you’ll be saved.

there’s a part of you, one that feels like Grant, that doesn’t quite believe him.

-

Rowan is clawed free of you. you rush forward to fill his place as the cage he put you all in shatters, and your head spins.

someone- Abby, maybe? Patty?- catches you as you fall, but you don’t know anything except that Arthur was right, and they came through.

-

you learn, later, about the rest of it: Rowan rampaging through the city, losing ecto-1, Abby and Erin falling into the Beyond and coming _back_ (with new hair colors), the mayor’s response, the dinner the women went out to (without you, but you don’t mind that much; you know they were drinking, and you’re too young to do that).

you’re in the hospital for a week. the ghosts keep messing up your vitals, but the doctors can’t actually find anything wrong with you, so they let you go.

the doctor from your old school checks in. Abby gives Erin a look you don’t like- because the doctor visits when you’re at work in the new firehouse, of course she does- but you aren’t fired.

you stop listening to Lucy when she tells you to dump the phone in the fishtank. you ignore Grant’s pronunciation suggestions. you let Arthur cook for the team when they come back after a mission; when they’re tired, it’s simple, and when they’re high off adrenaline, it’s fancy and sugary to make them crash faster.

Holtz shows you some of the simple tech. you’re good at it, which surprises Holtz and you. Nathan laughs and tells you he was sure you could do it.

Abby stops looking at you like you’re a mistake after a few months. Erin stops ogling you and starts ogling Holtzmann.

mama calls you when you get out of the hospital. she worries, but you tell her you’re fine, you’re _good_ even, you have a paying job and friends and you’re just the secretary, you shouldn’t be in danger like them.

she asks if you’re happy, and you tell her yes without even thinking about it.

Lucy helps you and Holtzmann update Erin’s clothes. Nathan leaves post-its with notes about the history of New York on Patty’s books when he thinks she’s missed something. Arthur teaches Abby how to make her own wonton soup. Holtz helps you shop for dresses when you admit you want input, and no one in the office scoffs at you or teases you about them.

no one calls you a retard.

things are good.

-

the ghost-detector is always on and whirring. the ghostbusters decide collectively that it’s because of the ghosts they have trapped in the building, and that’s probably true, but when you pass close to it, it spins faster and wider, and you _know_ Holtz has noticed at least once.

you’re scared.

you don’t want to lose the ghostbusters, but you don’t want to lose your ghosts, either. they’re safe with you, _happy_ with you, and so are you with them. you’re terrified the ghostbusters won’t understand, and will take your ghosts away.

you’ll run before that happens.

the ghostbusters are close to you. they’re your friends when you haven’t had any (that are alive) since you were seven. you can almost call them your family (because mama counts, she does, but she sees you as a burden more than a son and has for a while, and you _know it,_ so you don’t talk to her much anymore).

except that Nathan and Arthur and Lucy and Vanessa and Grant are your family, too, and they have been for so much longer, and you are always going to choose them over anyone else.

-

it’s because Holtz is testing a new piece of equipment, and you’re too curious for your own good.

“It’s like a grenade,” she’s saying when you enter the room to find all four women surrounding a small, round, glowing device, “but in reverse! It’s an implosion of force, sucks in ghosts instead of repelling them! Wider reach than the older traps, and less danger to us!” she kneels to fiddle with the settings; you notice Erin watching the shift of her muscles under Holtz’s shirt and share a smirk with Patty. “I have the distance set for fifteen feet; if there aren’t any free-floating ghosts in reach, nothing should happen.” she stands up, practically bouncing. “Let’s do some science!” she cheers, and the device starts beeping.

the doorway is fourteen feet from the device, Vanessa calculates just one second too late, and then the device goes off, and you’re slamming into the floor and then _through_ the floor, being ripped out of your body along with the rest of your ghosts, screaming your way into a cramped metal space. Grant’s elbow is in your ribs, Lucy’s hair in your mouth, and Nathan’s leg is twisted up against your stomach.

 _shit,_ Lucy mutters. for once, no one censors her.

-

you have no idea how long the six of you are trapped in there, but eventually there’s a sucking sensation and you’re pulled free of confinement.

the first thing you see when Lucy’s hair is out of your eyes is metal. Holtzmann has ghost-proofed the room.

the ghostbusters are standing in the doorway, Patty up front and Holtz at her side, Abby and Erin tucked behind them. they all have their proton packs on, and when your vision clears up, Patty charges hers up.

“Get out of the way, Kevin,” she says.

_NO._

you stand in front of your ghosts, arms spread wide like you can actually protect them. you’re just the secretary, and a shit one at that, but you will not let them take your ghosts away. if they go, you go.

“Kevin-” Abby starts.

 _we’re not leaving him,_ Lucy snarls. she takes your hand, pulling it down to your side. Grant’s arms wrap around your waist. Vanessa takes your other hand. Arthur and Nathan stand behind you, one hand from each of them on one shoulder.

 _if they go, so do i,_ you warn. you doubt it will actually stop them, but it’s worth a shot.

to your surprise, Patty powers down her proton pack. “Kevin…”

“Why do you _want_ them?” Abby demands.

“After what happened with Rowan, I’d’ve thought you’d learned your lesson about possessions,” Holtz says bluntly.

you flinch.

 _he was different,_ you tell them. _he just… hurt. he didn’t ask, and I didn’t say yes. he was awful._

“These are different?” Erin says.

“How?” Abby asks.

you glance at Nathan. if you’re going to tell this story, it should start with him.

you haven’t seen any of them in their own forms in years. Nathan is in a suit and tie, suspenders and hat and all, with a neat cluster of bullet wounds over his left lapel. Arthur wears jeans and a t-shirt under his orange construction vest, and ectoplasm coagulates around the wound at the back of his head. Lucy’s head hangs limp and wobbly off her neck; the green dress and white leggings she wears are rather similar to a shirt and pants in your closet. Vanessa and Grant both wear dirty linen pants and shirts; there’s dirt and ectoplasmic blood smeared over both of them, but Grant’s neck isn’t as cleanly snapped as Lucy’s- he can only swing his around about one hundred twenty degrees- and Vanessa’s legs are shattered and her chest caved in.

you look like yourself, in the same clothes you wore to work this morning: silver tie, pink tank top, green denim pants with rhinestones on the pockets in the shape of kitten faces. you like those pants; you decide that if you’re going to die, this is a damn good outfit to die in.

“How?” Abby asks again.

 _rowan did not care for consent, Ms Yates,_ Nathan says delicately. _we do._

“Consent?” Patty demands. “You _asked_ Kevin?”

 _I did, yes,_ Nathan agrees. _and he said yes._

 _but the others didn’t ask,_ you put in. _I asked them. it was my idea. nathan was my first; I figured since I hadn’t had problems with him, I could fit in a few more._

the ghostbusters look at each other. it’s Erin who asks, “Kevin… how long have these ghosts been possessing you?”

 _will you promise not to hurt them?_ you ask.

they look at each other again, longer.

“Fine,” Holtz says.

you smile. _nathan has been with me since I was seven. I took on arthur when I was ten, lucy when I was thirteen, and vanessa and grant when I was seventeen._ you frown. _I would’ve agreed to more, but most ghosts aren’t as nice as they are._

“No,” Abby agrees. “They aren’t.”

“Can we study you?” Holtz asks bluntly. Erin slaps her arm.

you look at your ghosts. they don’t say no.

 _if you don’t hurt us,_ you say.

Nathan’s hand squeezes your shoulder. _and if you return kevin to his body._

 _you’re coming too!_ you protest. Nathan looks at the ghostbusters. you do too. _I'm not going back without them,_ you say firmly.

Patty sighs. “Fine.”

-

they start with Nathan, since you already told them he’s been with you longest. it’s sort of funny; he’s also the oldest, both as a human and a ghost.

they did return all six of you to your body. you like having flesh much better to the alternative.

 _“I am fifty-seven,”_ Nathan tells Patty. _“I was born in April, 1923. I grew up during the Great Depression. I had a wife, but she ran off with another man when our daughter was nine. I died twenty years later, of a mugging.”_ your face creases into sadness. _“I missed her wedding.”_

“I'm sorry,” Patty offers. Then she frowns. “Wait. Were you the one who kept telling me I was wrong about something through sticky notes?”

Nathan smiles. _“Guilty. My neighbor was a historian, and I borrowed his books quite often. Besides, I had personal experience that you don’t. The books don’t cover everything.”_

“No,” Patty sighs, “they don’t.”

-

Arthur doesn’t want to talk, but the ghostbusters want to listen, so you say it for him.

“he was twenty-six when he died,” you say, curled up in one of the soft armchairs Abby bought for the firehouse a couple months back. “I found his ghost in the construction lot he worked in. I asked him if he wanted to be with me and Nathan- he was really lonely, because none of the people there saw him.”

the ghostbusters had not been happy about the revelation that ghosts could choose whether or not to be corporeal- and therefore visible- but since you see them either way, you’ve just become a little more useful.

“so we took him with us,” you say, shrugging. “it’s not a big story.”

“Does Arthur have anything to add?” Holtz asks, hanging over the back of the chair Erin’s sitting in. you see Erin shiver as Holtz breathes on her neck. you sigh. you’re an idiot and you’re less oblivious than those two.

 _“yes,”_ Arthur says, surprising you. _“if you could tell the owners of the apartment complex that now stands over my corpse that I'm down there, I’d appreciate it.”_

Patty blinks. “Where are you, exactly?”

 _“my body is buried in the concrete basement,”_ Arthur says dryly. _“it’s not very comfortable.”_

“You can feel your body?” Erin asks, wide-eyed.

Arthur shrugs. _“somewhat. it’s gotten fainter with time and distance.”_

-

Lucy likes talking, but you knew that already.

 _“I just wanna say that I’m really glad we met you,”_ she says. she’s almost bouncing. Holtz has this odd, soft look on her face when she looks at her-you.

“You seem pretty cool, for a ghost,” Patty concedes. Lucy beams.

_“thank you! I was really worried you were gonna blast us and Kevin, but I’m real glad you didn’t. ...wait, you were gonna ask me questions, right?”_

“...You’re a teenager, aren’t you,” Abby says. it isn’t a question.

 _“yep! I was fifteen when I died.”_ she doesn’t sound so bubbly now. _“I was on the playground with a couple friends… we were just nostalgic. having fun. Alisha dared me to hang upside down on the monkey bars… I used to be really good… I fell.”_ her voice is flat. _“I’m glad it was so late. there weren’t any little kids there, I didn’t…”_

she takes a moment.

 _“Kevin found me a few days later. he wasn’t scared of me. he offered to take me with him and Nathan and Arthur, and well… it wasn’t like I had better options.”_ she smiles. _“and he lets me and vanessa dress him up! he’s fantastic, the others too.”_ she plays with your hair. _“I… I really like it here,”_ she admits quietly.

Erin’s face is stricken for a moment before she pulls herself together.

-

Vanessa and Grant _really_ don’t want to talk, and you don’t want to talk about what happened to them either, so after Lucy gives you your body back, you just curl up into a ball and remain silent for a while.

“...Kevin?” Patty says eventually. “What’s wrong?”

you open your mouth, but you are not the voice that emerges. _“we’re scared.”_

Grant and Vanessa. together.

Erin frowns. Holtz comes closer, crouches down in front of your chair. “What, of us? We won’t hurt you.”

they sound so young. it makes your chest hurt, though that might be because Vanessa’s taking front seat with Grant, and she doesn’t have ribs so much as powder.

 _“of people. doctors.”_ your body is shaking. _“we hurt… we didn’t do anything wrong, we swear! i did my best_ (vanessa) _i tried m’ hardest_ (grant) _but they didn’t give us a chance!”_

that’s when the tears start. they glow blue.

 _“mommy jus’ left m’ there,”_ Grant sobs. _“she didn’t wan’ me ‘cause ‘m dumb an’ useless. and no one wanted me except ‘nessa.”_

 _“they hated us,”_ Vanessa whispers. _“the doctors, the teachers. none of them wanted to deal with us kids. they thought we weren’t no better than livestock. they bundled us up in rooms and… and left us there… we ran out of food so fast, and we didn’t have no toilets, and some of us didn’t have clothes ‘cause there were always too many of us…”_

the ghostbusters are staring in horror.

 _“vanessa,”_ you whisper. _“grant. why don’t you come back now, okay?”_

they do. Nathan and Arthur and Lucy wrap them up in a cuddle pile and let them cry themselves out.

you wipe ectoplasmic tears off your face. your voice is flat, emotionless.

“I came across them when Mama sent me to a boarding school that offered classes for mentally challenged kids. it used to be a mental asylum. they jumped off the roof a few months before the place was closed and renovated into a school.” you swallow. “I figured the kindest thing to do would be take them with us, give them something good.”

Holtz is looking at you with large, wet eyes. she leans up from the floor and drags you into a hug.

you don’t fight her. you press your wet face into her neck and hold on.

-

the ghostbusters let you come with them on calls after that. Patty asks Nathan questions about New York, Erin asks Lucy and Vanessa about fashion tips, Holtz consults with Arthur on occasion (about food and engineering and dating), and Abby makes it her mission to show Grant everything good in the city he’s missed. he’s thrilled.

not much else changes. they still treat you like Kevin, but like Kevin plus five.

they don’t try to take your ghosts away.

they have given you so much more than you’d have dared ask for: they gave a job when you know you were unqualified; friends when you could tell they weren’t sure whether to be fond, annoyed, or both at you; a family when you showed them your ghosts and they didn’t do their job and banish them.

you are Kevin, and you are Nathan and Arthur and Lucy and Vanessa and Grant, and you are happy and accepted and good.

and that’s more than you ever thought you’d manage.

**\--end.--**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love a comment if you're willing to leave one!  
> And on a much more depressing note...  
> I felt it was important for you all to know: I didn't make Vanessa and Grant's experiences up. There was at least one documented case of a mental 'hospital' where this kind of treatment was commonplace and repeated. There's a documentary about it, if you want to be sick over how humans treat other humans they don't understand. As a mentally ill person myself, I felt like it was important to inform you that no, I did not make that kind of abuse up, it was entirely real. Keep that in mind when you meet 'special' people, alright?


End file.
